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I'd recommend you begin coping by recognizing this is entirely yours to deal with, not hers in any way, and taking responsibility for the comparisons and feelings you are having. This way the struggle stays on your side of the fence and doesn't migrate as an issue she feels has to try to fix.At its core the issue of comparison is a type of avoidance. By comparing yourself to ghosts that you are imagining you can never give yourself a sense that you'll be okay with her, which then makes you feel inadequate enough to block your feelings of intimacy.
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